Episode#18 - Destination Growth - "Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance"

Today we continue our Destination Growth Series by discussing “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance” by author Angela Duckworth.  Angela Duckworth is a professor of Psychology at UPENN and also the founder and CEO of Character Lab.  Much of her professional focus is on using scientific insights to help children thrive.  However, in her best-selling book Grit, the insights go far beyond only helping children become grittier.  It really is written for anyone to not only understand the importance of grit, but also to learn how to become grittier at any age.

So, what is the definition of Grit, as defined by Dr. Duckworth?   Grit is defined as “the tendency to sustain interest in and effort toward very long-term goals"

The book is broken up into three parts:

• Part One is What Grit is and Why it Matters
• Part Two is Growing Grit from the Inside Out
• Part Three is Growing Grit from the Outside In

For our purposes today, we apply this book in three areas:  For ourselves, as parents and for our marriage.

For Ourselves

• Jackie’s takeaway
  • Showing up and putting in the work can close the gap between those that have a natural ability vs. the determined individual
  • Purpose drives my motivation in everything I do.
  • How I view my efforts matter - Brick layer parable – laying bricks, building a church, building the house of God – job, career or calling
• Tommy’s takeaway
  • Talent doesn’t make you gritty.
  • Growth mindset – perseverance comes through failure if you believe that failure isn’t a permanent state.
  • Importance of consistent deliberate practice. There can be pleasure in the pain of practice.
  • That purpose and passion can evolve as you become proficient or an expert in something that you maybe didn’t start out thinking it was going to be your purpose.
  • Grit and personality can be developed and aren’t fixed even as adults. That the brain has plasticity and can grow and change

For Parenting

• Jackie’s takeaway
  • How do we teach Grit as parents?
  • Supporting vs. Demanding approach
  • Creating the right environment for your children to flourish
  • Tough love vs. nurturing
  • Do you offer an example of Grit to your children – Will they want to emulate you?
• Tommy’s takeaway
  • Follow through for at least a year on whatever activity/club/sport/hobby is crucial to build grit in children
  • Authoritative vs. Authoritarian – easily confused. Authoritative is putting hard demands on children but also being supportive and caring equally. 
  • How important it is to have outside help to foster grit. Whether it be from us as parents or with coaches, teachers, or other authority figures – we can’t do it alone.

 

For our Marriage

• Jackie’s & Tommy’s takeaway
  • Really encouraging that our brains can literally rewire themselves. Our marriage can continue to grow and mature through deliberate “practice” with loving each other
  • That marriage takes real grit to be successful

Enjoy!